Living life on the other side of fear is pretty amazing.
You can feel like a statue that has come to life - finally free to roam, play and follow your heart. Instead of being frozen and stuck, busting past your greatest fears can be one of the biggest gifts you give yourself.
Yet, for so many of us - fear remains a tireless beast slowly gnawing at our confidence and self worth - constantly reminding us of life’s limits.
Fear keeps us stuck in relationships or careers that don’t serve us.
Fear tells us that what we have is not good enough.
Fear tells us that we’ll be abandoned, we’re too old or that we’re not smart enough.
And after a while, fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What you fear becomes your reality and then it’s that much harder to move forward with your life and goals.
Fear has won again and you dread the next time it might show up to rob you of the things you most want.
In truth, most of us wish we could overcome our fears for good.
There are countless books and programs all that promise to vanquish our fears - and while those may work in one situation or another, inevitably our deepest fears come to light.
What many of those books and programs forget, however, is that fear is a natural human emotion.
It can keep you safe and prevent you from engaging in risky behaviors or actions that can harm you.
Fear reminds you that going down a dark alley at night might not be a good idea. It also is the reason you stay away from people who you sense might harm you.
And while fear can be a healthy emotion, when it begins to control your life and have you see everything as an immediate danger, it becomes debilitating.
Fear can be the reason you stay in relationships that don’t serve you or stay stuck in a job that drains your energy.
Fear drains your energy and fuels the stories in your head instead. Fear masks itself as the truth.
And that’s how fear actually extends its power over you.
Fear uses your past experiences and your past hurts and presents itself as absolute certainty. Instead of questioning the “what if” statements that fill your head, you simply assume that your past pains will become your present problems.
Naturally then, you withdraw and will do anything not to feel the pain you’ve experienced in your past.
This may work for a period of time, but the problem with this strategy is that your world and your ability to experience the world begins to shrink. And soon you’re finding yourself limiting yourself in every aspect of your life - business, personal and even your health.
But, the truth is that fear doesn’t have to limit your every step and can instead be an asset to push you forward.
When you recognize that fear is a natural emotion and how it has actually served you in life, you can begin to befriend it.
While fear has been an unwelcome guest in your life up until this point, what if you could see fear as a sign that you’re about to break through another layer in your own personal evolution?
What if you could see that fear is there to remind you that you’re ready to cross the next big threshold?
The truth is that you have a choice on how you relate to your fear.
And it begins by recognizing that fear has actually benefited you. While sometimes misguided, fear’s only goal has been to keep you safe. In many ways, fear has done what it has been programmed to do since the beginning of time.
If you look back on your life, you probably can find ways that fear has actually served you - where it’s been a good thing and has helped keep you safe.
By seeing those positive moments and thanking your fear for protecting you, you can start to see fear through a different lens.
One where fear is useful and not always something you need to run from.
Also, by examining exactly what your fear is trying to convey to you can also help you gain the courage to move past your fears - even your greatest ones.
Fear often shows up to alert us and to remind us that we need greater self-care.
When I experience fear today, I look to understand the source of my discomfort first.
Is it a past pain, a worry about the unknown or simple conditioning when faced with challenging or new experiences?
By recognizing what fear is trying to share with me, I’m then able to loosen the grip fear has on me so I can be less reactive - and more proactive.
And you can do this too!
Once you recognize what your fear is trying to share with you, notice how your body begins to relax and get a little perspective.
You can then look at your fear and separate out the facts from the stories you have told yourself about the situation.
Because fear will have a hard time providing you with absolute proof that what you’re afraid might happen will, you can then choose to make decisions that are aligned with your highest truth!
Instead of staying trapped in your situation, using this technique can help you find more peace and greater conviction to pursue your dreams.
This week, every time you encounter fear, apply this new method of looking at fear and notice what changes for you.
Remember, the point isn’t to ever get rid of your fears. The idea is to instead befriend your fear and they will loosen their grip so you can get to the other side - where your best life awaits!