I’m going to start with the good news.
Regardless of your past, you CAN change your relationship patterns and adopt a NEW Relationship Blueprint and find the love you want! Yay!
Here’s the thing…those pesky patterns are exactly what’s keeping you stuck, unsatisfied and maybe feeling a bit deflated when it comes to love. And I get it…because I lived it!
After a tumultuous divorce I officially swore off men. I LOVED my newfound freedom and the only person I had to answer to was me. It was awesome!
But then out of the blue I found myself wanting more. More connection, more conversation and more, well, juiciness in life.
This was NOT part of the plan.
But it was the beginning of my deep dive into how my own patterns shaped how I showed up (or didn’t) in relationships.
I could see how I was the common denominator in all my relationships and that if I didn’t make a change, I’d just keep living Groundhog Day: The Relationship Version.
In the years following my divorce, I examined my own relationship patterns, as well as those of my clients, and I determined there are 5 prominent blueprints shaping the way we “do” love. These are patterns and behaviors that really prevent us from accepting the love we deserve.
Wondering what the 5 Blueprints are? I’m so glad you asked!
In your relationships, you might be skeptical of couples who need to be together all the time as you like to spend a fair amount of time alone. Some of your fierce independence might be a result of your past partnerships or the relationships you witnessed when you were young, where you or someone close experienced getting lost in a relationship.
As a Loyalist, you’ll go down with the sinking ship before you dare rock it. You go along and get along. This attitude has gotten you far in life, but there is little room left for you! You’re usually not the one ending the relationship even if you’ve spent months (or years) wondering if you should stay or go.
You’d like to learn what it means to explore your own desires and how to share them, but you don’t really even know where to begin. You hope your partner will be open to accommodating you in return, but that’s not happening. You want to learn simple ways to discover your desires and bring the truth of who you are into all of your relationships.
At the first sign of trouble, you start to wonder whether the person you’re with is actually the right one for you. You look for what’s wrong and then tell yourself they should be different. You might not actually bolt, but you’re convinced the grass is always greener elsewhere. You would like to be happy with where you are and start to see your partner in a different light, but you’re unsure how to break the curse of comparison.
You love a good fixer upper. Your partner has some obvious flaws, but it takes you longer to see them and you end up feeling disappointed. You would like to learn how to be more discerning, trust your instincts and find a partner who is more your equal.
Wondering what your specific relationship blueprint is? Take the quiz to find out! You may be surprised.
Plus, I’ll give you an action step to help your break free from that pattern once and for all!