It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing everything for everyone else.
Whether we’re raised to be nurturers or simply fall into that role, our primary purpose often becomes enmeshed in helping others achieve their goals.
It can feel good to help others and for some time, it can truly feel like our passion. But after a while, we’ll likely begin to feel unworthy of our own care - or of following our own dreams.
Our own personal circumstances can also contribute to our feelings of being trapped. We have responsibilities, bills and real life obligations that take priority.
We tell ourselves that we’ll carve out some time to map out our dreams or create a new plan - but what inevitably happens is that our dreams end up in a pile on the floor - right next to the mounting dirty laundry.
Our dreams become something that we’ll get to when we have time or when it feels convenient. But as more and more time passes - our someday-I’ll-get-my-me-time moves farther and farther away.
The truth is that most of us live our lives waiting for purpose to show up.
We hope that purpose will knock on our door and magically whisk us away to a new life.
But it doesn’t really happen that way.
Often we end up feeling stuck, frustrated and wondering if we’ll get our chance - or worse yet, we wonder if we’ll actually find our life’s true purpose.
As you sit here now, maybe you’ve felt some of that desperation.
You know that there simply has to be more - but what is it?
You’ve longed to make changes, but at every turn you’re met with a new obstacle.
You’d love to try something new, but you lack the confidence to do it.
So what can you do?
How do you actually uncover your real purpose or find the courage you need to take the leap?
In truth, the key to finding your life’s purpose begins when you own your self-worth.
Most of the time when we’re putting off our dreams and desires, it’s because we don’t feel worthy of our own time.
We falsely believe that it’s somehow indulgent to go after our desires or selfish to put our needs first.
We’ve either inherited or adopted beliefs that keep us stuck in this perpetual trap that life must be about serving others - period.
But, when we really see our own worth - no longer wrapped up in what we do or from the validation of others - purpose and fulfillment have the opportunity to unfold.
Imagine a life where you have permission to be curious and explore - instead of always thinking that you must chase your passion or demand it show up. How might your life be different?
In order to overcome the obstacles to our dreams, we have to begin to think differently about them.
Most of the time when we think about our purpose, it’s through the lens of finding greater value or believing that we must justify the space we occupy.
But what if you could reverse that thinking? What if you could inherently own your worth first - how might that help you view purpose - or getting to your purpose - differently?
When we can feel our worth from simply being vs. doing, life becomes a series of meaningful expressions and experiences and we stop looking outside of ourselves for validation.
When I was the Event Director for Hay House, so much of my sense of value came from what I was able to do for others and the way I could achieve the impossible. I truly believed I had found my dream job - my purpose.
But, when I began exploring who I was and giving myself permission to put myself first, I discovered that being there for others and pushing down my needs was my way of creating obstacles to my own worth.
It was only through coaching that I learned finally to remove those obstacles.
If you’ve been putting off your dreams and your true life’s calling, maybe some of this resonates.
When it comes to fulfilling our dreams, we often put ourselves last - but it doesn’t have to be that way.
One thing that has helped me, and the thousands of people I’ve coached, is understanding that you don’t have to always think in such big terms.
Uncovering your purpose, or going after what you already know you want, begins with small, simple steps. It’s about setting goals and even enjoying the little steps along the way.
Finding my purpose began with becoming comfortable doing little things for myself. These weren’t grand gestures at first - but they did help me evolve.
Instead of depriving myself of my wants and needs, these small steps of self- honoring led me to a much deeper personal transformation - one that allowed me to become who I truly wanted to be.
Today you might say that my purpose is coaching others, but I believe that coaching is truly an expression of who I am at my core. My purpose is really more about being a catalyst and guide for you - so that you too will see how magnificent you can be!
This week, I challenge you to let go of this notion that you must chase your purpose.
I Invite you to honor your needs and recognize that the only obstacles in your way are internal - and all you need to do to overcome them is claim your own self-worth!
It all begins with one simple, gentle step.
P.S. Because so many of you have asked me what it takes to be a successful life coach and pursue coaching as a career, I’m bringing you a brand new free masterclass called 3 Pillars of a Successful Life Coach where I’ll be sharing what it takes to create success as a coach. Sign up and you’ll also get all the details on the doors opening to my Levin Life Coach Academy Training & Certification Program!