nancy's blog

Do you tell yourself the truth?

Facing the truthAs a kid, like most children, I was trying to figure out who I needed to be and what I needed to do to get the most love possible, while avoiding trouble and pain as much as I could.

For me, attempting to be perfect was simply an unconscious survival strategy. As I’ve shared openly, my need to be perfect was directly related to my disabled brother’s death when I was two-years-old. I believed that if I was imperfect — like he was — I would die.

One of my survival strategies was to become indispensable, bending over backwards to buy love by taking care of everyone else’s wants and needs.

I learned the hard way what happens when we deny own needs long enough.

Our desires, our health, and our wellbeing will demand to be heard.
Even if you don’t heed that call, the truth will come out.
Unfortunately, most often it will come out sideways.
Perhaps you’ll become ill; or depressed; or if you’re like me, you’ll find yourself expressing those needs in destructive ways.

When something is “off” in your life, you know it. When we are feeling discontent in a particular area of our lives, we will discover that we are playing a role in that area that is not our authentic self. We are disconnected from the truth of who we are, and that disconnection has consequences.

It’s impossible to maintain a false identity without consequences. 

It takes an incredible amount of energy to hold up a mask, to continue a story, to portray a role that isn’t true. When you stop and tell the truth, so much energy becomes available to you — energy that can be used to live the life you want.

When we admit to ourselves what we already know, we fly through the doorway of discontent into full-blown freedom.

Facing the truth will fuel you to fulfill your potential and live the life you were meant to live. As you begin to explore who you really are, as you let the mask fall and commit to just being you, you will encounter the stories you have told yourself about yourself and your life.

You might even be amazed to discover that most of the pain we feel is due to our unwillingness to accept what is, exactly as it is – wishing something was different than it is or was – the stories you tell yourself, the stories you’ve wrapped around the truth.

The truth will plant you firmly in the present moment, clear on what is and what can be.

It’s important to remember that admitting to yourself what you already know, telling yourself the truth about your life, takes practice. It is a muscle that needs developing.

I believe the first step to freedom and lasting change is uncovering and admitting our truth. We examine the lies we tell ourselves and walk through what happens when we deny, avoid, or minimize our truth. We discuss survival strategies and our failed attempts at rationalization, justification and compartmentalization.

We discover that everyone has things we feel we need to hide in order to feel loved and accepted.

As we do this, as we take this first step, we discover the ways in which our minds bury but the body never lies.

Your body is the barometer of truth. 

Truth is visceral. You can feel it in your bones….in the core of your being, it is there.

We all have things we feel we need to hide in order to be loved and accepted.

In order to evolve, we must first unconceal the things we need to admit to ourselves…the things we already know.

What is the truth we hide when we betray ourselves? 

Betraying yourself can never be the price you pay to avoid betraying someone else.

We don’t serve anyone if we are pretending. We only serve their façade — the part of them that is in denial and unwilling to admit what they already know. We don’t owe anyone the denial of who we are.

Why do we choose to tell ourselves false stories?

Because we don’t want to face “what is.” Reality feels threatening to us, but reality has a way of forcing us to accept it eventually. The truth won’t be able to be denied forever.

As we begin to examine telling ourselves the truth, we can see how our lies have affected our relationships. We don’t feel truly loved and accepted when we know there are things we keep hidden out of sight. 

When we are honest with ourselves, we can’t pretend anymore.

We realize it is time to unconceal the things we need to admit to ourselves… the things we already know, and allow that to be our first step toward living our truth and being who we are meant to be.

What about you? 

If you aren’t happy with your life, or with some specific aspect of your life, there is probably something you haven’t been willing to tell yourself.

Take a moment and give this exercise a whirl…fill in the blanks: 

A story I tell myself is_____ the truth is _____.
A story I tell myself is_____ the truth is _____.
A story I tell myself is_____ the truth is _____.

What haven’t you admitted to yourself that you already know? 

Are you ready to tell yourself the truth? Join the conversation with me on Facebook.

Hey, What’s Stopping You?

Are you where you want to be? Shadow Beliefs

If you aren’t…if you feel stuck and at the mercy of your limiting beliefs…do you ever wonder why?

Two words: Shadow Beliefs.

Shadow Beliefs live in the shadows of our unconscious and are formed as we interpret and assign meaning to the significant events or incidents we experience early in our lives.

When emotionally charged events occur and we’re too young to process and digest them we internalize the experiences and make them mean something personal about us. If negative, this conclusion we draw becomes the shadow belief that governs our every move and holds us back from our limitless potential.

Some examples of Shadow Beliefs are:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m unworthy
  • I’m unovable
  • I’m stupid

…and it’s likely that you have more than one!

Our young minds are like little computers, and we become programmed by our shadow beliefs. The beliefs we carry with us from childhood may be illogical, but they take hold and become the way we see the world. They are the unconscious shadow beliefs that become part of our personal operating systems. They tell us what we can and cannot do. The people and situations we attract into our lives are consistent with those beliefs — for better or worse. We can’t perform functions that are outside of the system’s abilities … not unless we reprogram the system.

As adults, we continue this unconscious, habitual, compulsive way of being without any awareness as to why. It’s only when we bring our shadow beliefs into conscious awareness in adulthood that we can see the hold they’ve had over us as well as the gifts they offer. Then, we can shine light on these unwanted parts of ourselves, stop pushing them away, and integrate them in order to reclaim wholeness.

We can transform our Shadow Beliefs by identifying when we formed them and then consciously choosing a new meaning or interpretation. By doing this we replace the old, outdated shadow belief with a new, empowering and supportive belief that serves us now and propels us from being stuck into where we truly desire to be.

Want to find out what’s stopping you? Join the conversation with me on Facebook 


Make One Different Choice

Making One Different ChoiceEach time my Jump! Coaching clients reach Step 4, Make One Different Choice, change begins to amplify. It is my honor to support them in making one different choice so they can dissolve a pattern and prove to themselves that there is life beyond the familiar.

It’s clear to see that your past choices got you to this present moment, right? So that means that your present choices will take you into the future. Learning how to choose – and how to make different choices – makes that future brighter.

The routine in which you live your life may give you the feeling of control. But it’s actually an illusion to feel or think you’re in control. You’re actually less in control when you hold rigidly on to the familiar because you’re enslaved by fear. You’re not free to move with the pulse of life. When you make different choices, you are entering the flow. You can follow your truth and your desire, creating the kind of life you most want.

Making a different choice – even just one – may feel challenging to you. There are repercussions when you make a different choice.

One choice may not sound like a lot, but making one different choice can have an enormous impact as you move toward jumping into your new better life. Sometimes we tiptoe an inch at a time toward the new. Each step we take will give us more courage and more permission to take the next step.

Join me tomorrow on my Hay House Radio Show,  Jump Start Your Life, as I discuss how taking action with one change in one area of your life can lead way to an avalanche of results and effect other areas of your life you never dreamed possible. A coaching client who has experienced this magnificent impact will be joining me to share how her one different choice reverberated into areas that she never imagined could be changed. Listen Here and bring your questions; I am live on the air at 9 AM MT/ 11 AM ET. You can call in toll free from the US and Canada by dialing (866) 254-1579, and Internationally by dialing your International Code and then (760) 918-4300

Are you ready to see what can happen when you make one different choice?

Are You Ready to Think Differently?

think differentlyThis past weekend I had the honor of speaking at Hay House’s Writer’s Workshop in Chicago along with Mike Dooley, Reid Tracy and Kelly Notaras. The event was incredible, and if you know you have a book in you I highly recommend joining us for one. Why not take advantage of the opportunity to submit a book proposal to Hay House and win a publishing package!!! If you are interested, all the details are right here: http://www.hayhouse.com/writers-workshop-tour

And then, on Monday morning, when I woke up to catch my flight home, it was snowing in Chicago. Actually, a pretty epic storm was blanketing the midwest.

I had a non-stop flight to Aspen where I’ve been spending the winter. As the snow kept falling, the flight delay kept extending due to the in-bound aircraft unable to take off from South Bend, Indiana. Once it was going on 3 hours I decided to see about changing flights and making a connection through Denver – just to get out, since the weather in Colorado was crystal clear. I got that all sorted and arrived at my new gate just a few minutes later.

We boarded the plane a little bit late and then sat and sat and sat on the tarmac. After finally de-icing we got on our way and I realized that it was highly unlikely I’d make my connection. When we landed in Denver, I got off the plane as fast as I could and ran to the gate only to find the doors closed, boarding complete. Even though the plane was still sitting there I couldn’t get on.

I know from all my years of traveling that it does absolutely no good to get into a tizzy over it. I must admit though that I was still jetlagged from my trip to London last week and fighting a sore throat trying to turn into a full blown cold and I just wanted to get home…so I immediately burst into tears.

And, it didn’t help that I was obsessively tracking that non-stop flight I’d originally been on. It ended up departing three and a half hours late and with my missed my connection, it would actually land in Aspen before I did!

And this is when the voices started to kick in. “Why did you change your flight?” “You should have just stayed on the flight you were on, you would have gotten home sooner without a stupid connection.” “Why did you start messing with everything? You should have just left everything as it was!”

The voices that make us doubt and second-guess ourselves, the voices that tell us we better make the right choice and decision, the voices that make us think we should know the outcome before jumping.

Every day I work with clients to dissolve limiting beliefs, to release story and drama, to neutralize these voices.

Every day I am reminded that the more compassionate and self-loving I can be, the sweeter the outcome.

Each week, on my radio show, I aim to help listeners believe in a different future.

It was time to take a spoonful of my own medicine and, as my dear Debbie Ford would say, resign as General Manager of The Universe.

Then I pulled myself together, got some tea and decided to make the most of the hour and a half layover. I made a few calls I needed to, sent some emails and spent the time reframing my attitude before flying home.

Thankfully, United had rebooked me on the next flight – with an Upgrade to first class even!

When we start to think differently, when we learn to neutralize these voices, we open up to new possibilities and the outside world begins to change, allowing us to imagine a dramatically new future. Join me tomorrow on Hay House Radio as I share how we can set the stage for freedom, by first making it real in our imagination. Listen HereI am live on the air at 9 AM MT/ 11 AM ET and you can call in with your questions and get some coaching!

Are You Ready to Shift Your Life?

MAR

I’m writing this on my flight back from London, which proved to be a pivotal experience for me.

Rarely in our lives do we find ourselves in the real-time of experiencing a moment of true transformation. And having the honor of speaking at Hay House UK’s ignite conference was one of those moments.

As most of you reading this know, up until last August I had been the Event Director at Hay House for 12 years. In fact, I co-created this ‘Ignite’ concept and conference in response to Louise’s desire to reach a younger audience so they could begin doing their inner work earlier and potentially avoid a mid-life crisis. My dear dear friend Patty, VP of Editorial at Hay House, and I set out to assemble and curate the next wave of authors and teachers, and in 2012 I produced and spoke at the first ‘Ignite’ conference in the States.

While sitting in my hotel room on Saturday morning, just a few hours before taking the stage, I was contemplating all that was in my heart to share. I burst into tears.

Reading through my notes and reflecting on my thoughts landed inside in me as a massive life-review. I had been to London many times before but always accompanying, organizing and supporting others. To be there this time, on my own, to be the one delivering my message with my first one-hour keynote ever…well, surreal doesn’t begin to express the feeling.

I shared this all transparently with the audience and let them know, as my story surely revealed, that all these self-empowerment books and events – and everything under the Hay House roof, really – I’m living proof that this shit works!MAR

The next time you find yourself in one of those real-time transformational moments, I encourage you to stop… and allow it all to soak in. Stop… and realize how far you have come. Stop… and notice how it feels. Stop… and acknowledge the steps that brought you to where you now stand.

This could be a moment like that for you…when your whole life shifts… are you ready?

Let’s find out together… allow me to coach you through your own inner work and into your very own real-time transformational moment.

Join me on one of my free coaching calls… see if this is your moment to be part of my next coaching group jumping into true transformation.

Join me on my weekly Hay House Radio show Jump Start Your Life – Thursdays at 8 am pt/11 am et. On tomorrow’s show I’ll be sharing my own personal journey of transition and change…and I want to hear from you to support you in making the shift!

 

 

 

immersing and emerging

immersing and emergingimmersing and emerging

i watch her swim
away from fear
toward a sea
free from restraint

she does not look up
or around
only within
breathing in and out
immersing and emerging

criticism crawls
out of her body
as she glides
into a confident sheath
peace ignites her core

for the first time
she understands awareness
by being seemingly unaware

standing now she rises
her flesh propelled by
bone muscle tendon
blood is rushing her
heart awake

all love begins
with self-love
once you know
you are the root
of your own suffering
choose to disengage
from the periphery

harness and recognize
the strength inside
to magnetize

breath is the private mantra
guiding prayer

follow your feet knees hips
belly heart hands
be willing to lose your balance
surrender to what matters most
and dive into the unknown

Name Your Desires First…And Don’t Worry About The Logistics

This week in my coaching group based on the material in my next book (more on that to come!), we’re working with desire. Last night we discussed how critical it is to name the “what” of our dreams and desires, without worrying about the “how.”

And now, as I get ready to launch my new Hay House Radio Show possibility swirls around me. I have great gratitude for finally overcoming my blinding Type-A-ness, recovering from being a rigidly organized, care-taking, over-achieving, multi-tasking, detail-oriented, time-managing workaholic so that I could begin to entertain fantasy instead of solely focusing on implementation and execution.

I used to only contemplate what needed to be done and how I would be doing it. Cut and dry. Dreaming, wishing, hoping, wanting seemed a luxury, and such a waste of valuable ‘doing’ time. I just couldn’t see the value in pure fancy vs. the real world.

And even though I have heard Wayne Dyer quote the English visionary poet William Blake hundreds of times: “What is now proved was once only imagined,” I somehow still didn’t get that imagining is actually the first and most important step to creating reality.

Nancy Levin Sit in the possibility...without the logisticsAnd then I did.

I imagined my own life changing, and then telling my story of making that change in a way that would help others make their own Jumps into the lives they imagines for themselves.

I imagined sharing myself through publishing books and speaking around the world, and getting to meet and support others on the brink of transition and transformation.

I named my desire to leave my day job, pay off my mortgage, find love again and feel free.

I named my desire to create a coaching process around Jumping, to work with others to feel worthy of naming their truth and desires as they take action and Jump into a new life.

And then, I imagined sharing my experience and process of change, transition and transformation and connecting with like-minded souls over the airwaves at Hay House Radio!

No logistics, just pure possibility.

I started to wonder: “What if – instead of always working, doing, making and performing – the only thing standing between this moment and my greatest me is the willingness to name my desires without worrying about the logistics. What if…?”

And now, I have some answers to the “what if”.

As so many things unfold, as I prepare to share my story this month at Ignite in London and The Writer’s Workshop in Chicago… as I launch Jump Start Your Life! With Nancy Levin on Hay House Radio (Thursdays at 9 AM MT beginning March 19th!)… as I host two more complimentary Jump! Coaching calls tomorrow (March 5th)… and unveil my freshened up website, I am reminded of the necessity of of diving head first into my desire if I ever want to allow, embody and offer the full expression of myself.

How about you? Are YOU ready to move past the fear that’s kept you stuck so you can open the portal to possibility and merge your desires with reality?

I hope you’ll hop on one of my complimentary calls tomorrow so we can talk about it! You can join me for free right here.

 

Feeling More Juicy and Alive at 50 Than Ever Before

As you read this – on my actual 50th birthday – I’ll have already been swept away by my beau to an undisclosed location for a surprise getaway celebration.

Surprises and I haven’t always been friends – the Type A-Producer-Control Freak-With-A-Strong-Need-To-Know in me used to have a really hard time chucking my routine to go with the flow and trust.

For the past year, since my last birthday in fact, I’ve been in a pretty deep inquiry about my own wants, needs and desires that has informed the conscious changes I’ve made. As a result, I’m consistently making choices now that are in service of creating and living the life that honors my priorities.

About a month ago I decided to clear this entire week on my calendar in order to rightfully honor this milestone birthday by allowing myself to say yes! to whatever arises in the moment. It started yesterday with a full-on powder day greeting me upon waking, and I was free to spend the day playing on the mountain, groovin’ on my new skis, lunching in the sun, bopping around après ski happy hours – and it was a Monday!

Goddesses Never AgeSo, knowing that I was taking the week off, my man requested Tuesday through Thursday, no questions asked. I don’t even know what to pack, but already in my bag is my new bible, Goddesses Never Age. This brilliant and groundbreaking book by my friend Dr. Christiane Northrup just launched yesterday – luckily I’ve got connections at Hay House and was able to get my hands on it a little early – and now you can get your own copy, right here.

Have I mentioned that my guy is 9 years younger than I am and that I need all the “never aging” that I can get?!

Thankfully, this book is a goldmine of wisdom and mojo that already has me feeling more juicy and alive at 50 than ever before.

As I set out on another lap around the sun, I am reminded that that there’s no day like today. The future starts now. The choices we make in the present moment predict and determine our future.

The gift I am giving myself is to ask each day, “What is one thing I can do today in service of living the life that honors my deepest dreams and desires?”

I invite you to join me in this inquiry, commitment and action. Ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do today in service of living the life that honors my deepest dreams and desires?”– and share HERE, I want to support you!

 

Create the Life You Have Always Desired

Yesterday was the second anniversary of Debbie Ford’s passing.Debbie Ford Nancy Levin

Two years have gone by already. It’s hard to believe.

I can’t really wrap my brain around her not being here anymore physically. She’s still in my “favorites” and “vip” lists on my iPhone. I still have our thread of text messages saved. There are days I’m utterly enraged that I can’t call her to laugh, cry, share an insight, report a breakthrough. I wear pieces of clothing that were hers, some she gave me, and others I retrieved after she was gone. Even washed, they all still carry her scent and I often lose myself in memory

How can the woman who was one of the most pivotal forces in my life – the very catalyst to me unconcealing my truth and living it – be gone.

And then, inside my heart I feel it. Her legacy and the invaluable gift she gave those of us who carry it.

Five years ago, on February 25, 2010 – my 45th birthday – I flew into her arms for an immersive weekend in her renowned Shadow Process. We had worked together and been friends for years, but when I revealed to her that my world was crumbling she immediately insisted on me being at the workshop as a participant, not producer. She also insisted that I stay with her to make the experience even more powerful. Julie, her assistant at that time, picked me up at the airport on that sunny San Diego day and we met Debbie for lunch. And later that night, after a birthday dinner – complete with cake, candles and a wish – standing on the steps in Debbie’s living room, I uttered the word divorce for the first time as it related to me.

While she led 112 of us through The Shadow Process, she secretly devoted herself to me. And even though I was sleeping at her house, we ritualistically upheld all the rules of the weekend together and only spoke when we were in session or processing my personal experience in the car on the way to or from the venue.

I spent the rest of that year bouncing between Debbie’s house, Cheryl Richardson’s house and my sister’s as I untangled my marriage, dealt with my divorce, and dreamed of life on my own terms.

It’s safe to say that I wouldn’t be who I am or doing the work in the world I am today if it weren’t for Debbie Ford. Her steadfast attention on me challenged me to cultivate courage, invite risk and embrace change for all the right reasons. Thanks to her, I was supported, loved and even pushed from time to time throughout my jump.

Debbie’s commitment to me inspired my commitment to be of service to you. She lives on in me, coaching me as I coach others.

As I write this, I’m enveloped in my favorite grey sweater of Debbie’s, with the yahrzeit candle burning beside me. Only, it’s actually one of those Mexican Guardian Angel candles since I couldn’t find a traditional Jewish yahrzeit candle at the grocery store yesterday. I know Debbie would understand – and get a kick out of it even – after all, she really is my Guardian Angel.

“Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. The caterpillar will become a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to life in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired.”
― Debbie Ford

Today and every day I honor my beloved friend and mentor as her spirit soars and guides me still. Part of honoring her is sharing her legacy and the invaluable gift she gave those of us who carry it with others, which I do in part through my coaching. I am sharing that legacy through two complimentary coaching calls tomorrow, Thursday, February 19th (and future dates, as well). If you are interested in experiencing a little of Debbie Ford’s legacy right here with me, I invite you to join us and learn what it means to embrace your shadow and make your very own Jump! into your true self.

Happiness Is An Inside Job

Choosing HappinessToday my friend and bestselling publisher Linda Joy released Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness featuring the soul-inspiring stories of 27 amazing women who share their intimate stories of transformation. For a limited time you can get over 40 transformational gifts with your copy of Choosing Happiness. Grab your copy today http://bit.ly/Happiness_Book

I’m excited to be a Happiness Crusader and joining over 100 women in spreading the message of #ChoosingHappiness to women around the world.

This past weekend I had the two best ski days of my entire life. I tackled harder terrain than ever – and had a blast doing it. Over the top extraordinary. Up until Saturday I’d been trying to love skiing for all the wrong reasons ­– to make someone else happy. But these two days turned everything around. I finally got it. I finally got what everyone was jonesing about. And I was skiing for me!

On Saturday morning my man dropped me off at Aspen Highlands bright and early for my clinic. I got second chair all to myself as soon as the lift opened. It was a crystal clear sunny blue sky day and I was the only person on my first run the whole way down. I met T-Bone, my instructor, and the seven others in my group and then we headed up to Highlands Bowl – an 800 ft vertical hike topping out at 12,392 ft. opening up to steep powdery double black diamond bumps all the way down. Woah. I had never done anything like this before. The hike was no problem for me but the mega-expert terrain was another story. Grateful for the excellent instruction T-Bone patiently provided, I soon found myself euphorically ripping down through the bumps and trees.

And then on Sunday I went out and did it again, only it was a little different. For the first time in my life, at 49 years old, I drove to a ski area on my own. It might sound silly, but I wanted it bad enough to go after it myself. Another spectacular day in up in the Bowl.

On Monday, after two pretty epic days I was content to rest but rallied to get out on the mountain with my man. In the middle of the first run I fell and had a “yard sale” – skis and poles everywhere. And I tweaked my knee. F#%K. Two killer days of finally seeing the light, loving skiing and hungry for more…and then this?! Really?! Ugh!

I hobbled over to where he had been waiting a while for me. We sat until I felt stable enough to get down to the ski shop we’d been aiming for…did I mention that this was the big day I was finally throwing down to buy myself the new skis I’d been coveting!

And then we took the bus home for minimal excess impact on my knee.

So I’m sitting here writing this on the couch, elevating and icing my knee, while it’s snowing outside for the first time in days, with my brand new Blizzard Black Pearl purple skis leaning up against the window and instead of being bummed and mad, I’m choosing happiness.

Because here’s the deal. Happiness is an inside job.

Sometimes I have to choose happiness when it seems counterintuitive.

Sometimes I have to choose happiness when I’d rather blame someone else.

Sometimes I have to choose happiness by buying myself the brand new skis I’ve been coveting, even after I fell on the way to the store!

Sometimes I have to choose happiness watching all the skiers out my window even though I’m still in my jammies with my knee elevated and iced writing a blog on choosing happiness when I could easily choose to be bummed or mad.

Everyday I choose happiness by allowing my heart to overflow with gratitude for the life I choose to live and the way I choose to serve.

I’d love to hear how you choose happiness and invite you to share in the comments below.

And remember to check out Linda’s new book, Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness. You can grab your copy today at http://bit.ly/Happiness_Book and receive the bonus gift bundle worth thousands!